Learning to control myself

         I need to learn forgiveness. Not just the post-incident forgiveness, but also the continual forgiveness. I have a bad problem of not forgiving people who have technically not done anything yet. I judge and assess their personality and predict what they might do in the future to offend me, and become upset over nothing. In my film class we got to see the cameras that we will be getting to use this year. And our professor Phil Tucket had asked the camera care taker to tell us a little bit about the camera’s, and the moment he opened his mouth I thought he was talking down to me. It was at that moment that I started to get upset. I imagined in the future that I would have to rent a camera from this guy and he would look down on my and ask if I am worthy of the camera’s. Now the funny thing about this situation is, he made no direct comment at me nor even glanced in my direction. What is it about my personality that needs people to look up to me? Talk up to me? and never speak to me as if I know less than them. So hear is my solution from now on if anyone gets on my nerves before I even get to know them I am going to make it a point and go up and talk to them and be my best self possible!

            I spent my entire high school career avoiding dating because I assumed there would be girls more my type once I made it into college. Now that I am hear I see plenty of girls that are attractive, but I have yet to talk to any girl that makes me think that I could change the world with that woman. I fell like I am being unfair to the opposite sex however. I want a girl that will try to change the world but I myself can’t get up the discipline to get a job! Or figure out accounting!! I dream of big things but I am living a small life, and that is no way to live ones life. All of this week I have procrastinated my homework wile watching a meaningless T.V show (“the avatar,” which is really entertaining by the way! And I am so glad that Ang and Katara finally hooked up). I have dreams of being a heartless businessman that is cunning and ruthless in the ways he solves his problems, yet I intentionally avoid learning the skills necessary to fulfill this dream. Well I now decree that this old me comes to an end! And the me I have always wanted to be starts now! Scary business man hear I come!!!!!!