A surprise visit from a zealous rock climber

Weekends are a peculiar thing; they come and go but each one is desperately awaited. This week I found myself unusually exited for the weekend but not for any particular reason. I planed on doing what I have been doing for the past couple of weekends eating a little more food than necessary, climbing at the rock-climbing wall on campus, and watching television. Somewhere between all of those very fastidious activities I had planned on squeezing in some homework. But alas one simple phone call changes all of those little plans in a moment! And instead of sitting at home pretending not to be board I have to actually have fun. If had only known my weekend would have entailed a Geisha knife fight, a sumo wrester, a cloud walker, and the ultimate 2 finger wushu. Skadush! 

A good tiding of comfort and joy for Luke Baird comes to visit his baby brother (me) in St. George. And he comes bearing gifts? Yes a microwave (that used to belong to homeless man that lived in my parents garage), cloths (that were forgotten by myself in random parts of the country…), a camera (which was commandeered by my mother, who gracefully returned it back to my ownership) and last but not least a peculiar medallion (which I am sure will have many mentioning’s in future blogs!). But of course the greatest gift of all was my brother Luke! He had taken the time out of his overly busy schedule to drive from Salt Lake to St. George for a surprise rock-climbing trip with his little bro.

Rock-climbing book in hand Luke had already deliberated all of the possibilities that St. George has to offer! 

 having arrived at 7:00 PM the day was pretty much used up as far as outdoor climbing is concerned. However the great campus of Dixie State Collage (of which I am a student) has provide a rock-climbing gym for all of its loyal subjects. I took Luke to this wall and he showed the same amount of excitement as I!!! It’s sad to me how few of the students at Dixie College appreciate the gift that has been given to them, for I rarely see anyone using the climbing wall. Luke and I climbed as many routs as we could handle while planning the weekends adventures. Luke also taught me the proper way to set up a bouldering route. If we had known what was awaiting us we would not have exerted so much energy before our adventure.

The next morning with our gear packed we head off for our fist rock climbing destination Snow Canyon.

 Luke shows off to the world by climbing a 30ft 5.8 without any gear. After these miraculous feet we decide to press on to bigger and better challenges, and legend tells of wall so great that it can only bear the name Sumo! 

 or it bears the name sumo because of its uncanny resemblance to a sumo wrestler… but I am pretty sure that legend does tell of a climbing route so intimidating that it can only be called a “Geisha Knife Fight.” This rout entails razor sharp rocks and intimidating overhanging maneuvers. 

The moves themselves were not that intimidating, but the idea of falling onto those knife like rocks and speckling your shirt with blood was enough to make any climber weary. But before you could even climb this epic route you had to get there… and that’s where my car the Samurai Suzuki comes in handy.

there is an extreme off-roading path that we assumed was safe… I was as scared as a hooker in church, and that trail was a little too much for my poor car :( 

After we got our buts kicked by the Geisha Knife Fight as well as the trail to get there we thought about controlling our ambitions and finding a new playground. So we head up towards the desert turtles playground (BLM Turtle study area on the Arizona boarder) and found the black and tan wall. Well Luke and I don’t read good, and in hopes of doing a simple 5.10a climb we ended up doing a climb that isn’t even mentioned in the book. We didn’t even get up half of the wall!!! It must have been a way tough new route. And there were mountain goats mocking us across the canyon. 

The sun was so we set up camp ate mac and cheese while staring into the blazing fire. And when the fire was simmered down the stars lit up brighter than I have ever seen.

The following day we decided to give the book another look and try and find the route we actually set out to climb. It turned out that we were just one route off and we (luke) quickly scampered the route and then let me have a go at it. 

Having our egos boosted after such a dismal weekend we decide to give the mystery route a go. This time with the proper amount of determination we make it past half way. In order finish this route you would have to use a tiny hole in the rock where only two fingers would fit and lift your entire body to the next handhold. And thus I gave this route the name the Two Finger Wushu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32InXIKwy_8 . 

We never did finish this route even with our fiery determination. So we packed up and headed home with our tails between our legs. And while we are on our way out we spot a hitchhiker in the middle of the desert twenty miles from any civilization. Curiosity peaked and I had to stop and pick the man up so I could hear his story (and snag a secret picture).

Being lied to is something I actually prefer especially with strangers, because the truth makes you responsible. And I am 100% sure that this man was lying. his story goes something like this “I was out with his mom when we got separated and i wondered the desert for two days.” First of all what mother would leave their son in the desert for two days without looking for him. Second he said, “She took his car home” how did she know where his car was but not him. And third just look at the guy! 

 I am sure he was hyped up on drugs and wandered off into the desert or is fleeing the law! I think I might have even abetted a criminal this weekend!!! How cool is that!!!!!!!!!!!!! My brother Luke is the best if it were not for him I would have never had a knife fight, learned the two finger wushu, or abetted a criminal!